An educational site devoted to White Tantra
3/25/14 - (Newsletter sent out today) Since we have only had two couples and one single man respond to the Sensual Massage for Saturday, March 29, we are changing the focus to Tantra. That was the original intention behind the sensual massage anyway. Sensual massage would have opened doors to Tantra if we had succeeded in building a group of simpatico people. . But since that hasn't been well received, we will now change the focus and call it what it is.
I am seeking a circle of interested individuals who are interested in the higher spiritual values of original Tantra. Originally Tantra was a spiritual training ground which includes knowledge of which positions will enhance health and well-being, but it starts out with mutual meditation to bring the two lovers' minds, feelings and bodies into alignment. It is preparation for the "oneness" connection where deeper love can be experienced.
I am also seeking individuals who have some knowledge of tantra, who are willing to contribute what they know and not just be a student. Being a participant is a different role from that of following the leader and absorbing without giving something back. Tantra is a mental technique of sending and receiving energy through the various chakra points with the partner.
The art of Tantra lies in doing this sufficiently to create harmony, joy, love and wondrous feelings that most people don't even know they have, never mind know how to create them. Tantra is a partnership. It is teamwork. If one does not want to do this, he or she should not even try, for the spirit is not willing. As a group composed of a circle of two partners and two partners and two partners, all around the circle, all people will be sending and receiving quietly with their minds.
Let's explore it together. I am not an expert. We will have a discussion first, to pool all the knowledge we can gather together, and then we'll come up with a game plan to put it into action. Let's practice! It will be fun. Let's manifest some of that beautiful energy that is on hold inside us, just waiting for us to tap it and use it. Let's work with it. Let's weave our energies together and see where it takes us.
There are as many approaches to Tantra as there are people. Most Tantra here in the west has been modified to accommodate western sexuality, which is not true Tantra. Most men find Tantra workshops didn't do anything for them, while their women enjoyed it. If a Tantric Goddess worked their energies for them and built them up to a climax while they were lying down and receiving, it was enjoyable (of course). But from all the feedback I've received, the men have not enjoyed Tantra unless they had a climax at the end. That is not Tantra. This tells me that they did not learn the true nature of Tantra.
Are you interested? I am a swinger but swinging does not access the higher values of harmony, oneness, grace, reverence and love. It's going to require a different focus to reach levels which are superior to anything we identify as sexual love. Can we bring our understanding together to reach this higher realm? Can we create love on a higher scale than personal ego, where love is a unified field and ecstasy is in the lower spectrum of the scale? Can we create a new lovestyle with people who are all on the same page, with the same understanding? Would you like contribute your energies to a group of individuals like this?
What do YOU know about Tantra? It's not just skin-to-skin contact, but soul-to-soul, heart-to-heart, mind-to-mind, and the exchanging of spiritual energies. That is my dream and I know it is also a dream of others I have met. But in order to build a dream, team work is necessary and working with the group mind. Group mind works on a level of harmony of the highest mental order without individual egos getting in the way.
If you are interested, let me know right away and sign the privacy agreement at www.anakosha.org/privacy.html. I'll get back to you. The location is a private home in North Naples out in the country on acreage. There will be no cost because of the experimental and spiritual nature of what we will be doing. I would love to have some local individuals to work with so we can meet periodically. We will need a gender balance, so the first-come, first-served rule applies.
Future dates that have been carved out for Tantra
3/29/14, 5/10/14, 6/28/14, 8/2/14, 9/13/14, 10/25/14, 12/6/14
3/17/14 - (Newsletter sent out today)
An Evening of Sensual Massage
Singles invited to apply
Snacks, hot tub and conversation in between massages
Saturday, March 29, 2014
7 pm to 11 pm
We have two couples signed up for the massage on March 29 and one single man. (J & C and M & C). Because time is getting closer, we are going to open it up to single individuals, or people whose partners don't want to attend. Contact me if you'd like to participate. There will still be a gender balance. If you haven't signed the privacy agreement, please do. Go to www.anakosha.org/privacy.html. There is one for couples and one for singles.
The evening's agenda is massage, with snacks, conversations and hot tubbing inbetween or after 11. Consider the evening casual and easy. This approach is more feminine than masculine. More free-flowing and gentle vs. a hard-lined agenda. We ask that everyone adopt a quiet, sensual and uplifting attitude, for sensual massage in its truer meaning is sacred massage. Please do not bring alcohol or arrive with alcohol or other controlled substance in your blood. It is important to be alert and sensitive to thr others.
We have loosened up the original agenda so that it is a little more spontaneous. You will not be "assigned" to anyone, but rather we will allow natural affinity draw massage partners together. That means, if you do not want to massage someone, you don't have to. It might be with one other person, or two others, or three others. There were questions about this several months ago, whether a man would have to massage another man, or a woman another woman. No you don't have to if you don't want to. I guess I am quite a bit more free than most people, and I realize now that I cannot expect that from others.
Nudity is expected for massage but a woman can wear a parea or something similar, which is a piece of rectangular cloth wrapped around and tied in front for those who are modest. Men can also wear pareas by folding the cloth in half and tying them at the waist.
I will demonstrate the how-to's and explain things before we begin, so you will understand what is expected. You will quickly relax once you get here and hands are either on you, or your hands are on someone else. There are 4 massage tables to work with, plus one on the patio makes 5. If you have never received a massage, this will be a wonderful experience for you.
To eliminate any confusion and to address the elephant in the room, this is not a party. This type of massage feels good but it is for learning and practicing sensual massage not foreplay for sex. Maybe in the future there may be a party composed ONLY of graduates of this program. We who are hosting this massage, also host swing parties in this house but, again, this is not a party. We would be glad to discuss the etiquette of swinging during social breaks, but this evening is for learning and practicing a more sophisticated whole-body approach to love-making which will be of greater benefit to everyone in the future, whether it be with your own partner at home, or with other lovers you will be meeting. This will help you raise the quality of your lovemaking.
Regular sex is pretty superficial and mostly focused on the genitals. Sacred sex is slowing down and loving the whole body all over, equally, with love. Love is the key. Sex with a loving attitude and loving feelings is the magic that transforms a bad lover into an expert lover, like the famous Rudolf Valentino. An expert lover does not fall in love but knows how to move the energy around so the person FEELS he or she is being loved. It's a technique that can be learned.
We are hoping that this is the beginning of a new lovestyle, where the words "sacred sex" holds more meaning than "notch in the belt". The future has yet to unfold but we anticipate that those who attend our workshops will become expert lovers and help us manifest this new lovestyle and make it real.
Again, the couples-only rule is being discarded and "singles invited" with the caveat that there will still be a gender balance.
Let me know if you are interested. I'll get back to you. And if you haven't already, please sign the privacy agreement. The location is North Naples out in the country on acreage. Very private. Pay upon arrival. $50 a couple, $25 a single (if accepted). Future dates: 3/29/14, 5/10/14, 6/28/14, 8/2/14, 9/13/14, 10/25/14, 12/6/14.
3/2/14 - We've changed the name to Sensual Massage for Couples, instead of Meet, Greet & Massage. We have been advised that most individuals really DO want to learn sensual massage, the how's and why's of it, and what makes it sensual instead of sexual. What makes it massage rather than sexual foreplay?
I am also advised that there are 3 different categories of couples or individuals who might possibly be involved in the group, with a possible 4th. (1) the couple who wants to learn it for their own private at-home delight to enhance their own intimacy; (2) the couple who is interested in expanding beyond their coupledom to meet others for possible intimacy exchanges, and (3) those couples who are experienced swingers and hoping for a party after. The fourth category are those who are interested in Tantra.
This is simply sensual massage. It's a great place to learn what sensual massage is so you can use it at home privately, or with a lover either as a couple swapping with another couple, or as a single on a private date. Learning this particular approach is also a good introduction to Tantra, for Tantra includes the whole body energies, not just the genitals. I have had a genital massage and wondered,"What the heck is this all about?" It didn't do a thing for me. (But I was kind and thanked the gentleman.)
The sensual massage will indeed discuss and address the genitals as part of a whole-body approach, for certainly there are energies anchored there. It needs to be approached with an enlightened understanding and the lightest of touch. A heavy touch is considered sexual. There is much to learn, the least of which is how to RECEIVE a massage, for it is the receiver who is actually in control of the massage through his or her allowance and permissiveness. It is a delightful way to bond with someone, and a small group provides more awareness stimulation - you are aware of more than if there were only two of you.
This is for couples. If single, you and a single friend. Please sign the privacy agreement if you haven't already at: www.anakosha.org/privacy.html and submit it to me. The location is North Naples out in the country on acreage. Very private. There will be snacks for nourishment. You can pay when you arrive. $50 a couple, $25 a single (if accepted). Future dates 3/29/14, 5/10/14, 6/28/14, 8/2/14, 9/13/14, 10/25/14, 12/6/14.
2/22/14 - We are happy to announce we are on schedule. There will be a Meet, Greet & Massage Saturday, March 29, 2014 from 7 to 11 pm. Max 8 couples or pairs. This event is designed to be small and intimate, with a chance to get to know the others in the group both socially and with hands on. Massage is the central theme - sensual but not sexual. It's not a party. It's educational to show how to receive human touch from others in a warm, loving way. Receiving is more important than giving for some people - and harder to do. For others, giving is harder. We need to practice both if we are going to expand beyond monogamy and play at swinging (the lifestyle).
Future Meet, Greet & Massage dates are: 3/29/14, 5/10/14, 6/28/14, 8/2/14, 9/13/14, 10/25/14, 12/6/14.
This event is open to couples of all ages, whether married or not. It is a stepping stone especially for beginning couples who are newly exploring ways to break out of a long-time relationship. One couple in their 60's has signed up for this event, and also a single man in his 60's, but - again - all ages are welcome who would like to put their toe in the water with some other couples and engage in very nice, warm and sensual massage in a small, nice group.
There have been some under-50's couples contacting me consistently about getting together with couples their own ages - 20's, 30's and 40's. If you are in that age bracket and would like to be included in a special meeting night, let me know. You may have done so already, but this time I'll create a separate list especially for you. We have a momentum of older couples in our sphere of influence because we ourselves are older and we give parties, but we'd like to help the younger couples too. However it has to be worth our while. If we only get 4 couples signing up and 2 cancel at the last minute (which has happened), it's not worth the effort for us.
In the past, every time we scheduled something for the under-50's crowd we were approached by senior couples wanting the same thing! So the conclusion is there are more seniors who want this than younger couples. But we do recognize a need for two separate age groupings. Other clubs are running into this too. There will always be couples approaching the lifestyle wanting to learn more, but there are more senior couples today than in the past. I suspect because death or divorce have separated them and they are finding new partners from a more liberated place - and in a more liberated age where sex and love are more open and people are talking about it. And because modern medical marvels and greater nutritional knowledge are keeping individuals younger and more vibrant longer, so they can enjoy their sexuality into more advanced years than they did 50 years ago. It is quite an amazing age we live in.
A certain number of dates have been set aside for Meet, Greet & Massage evenings for 2014. One or two of those dates could be reserved for an under 50's group if enough indicated they wanted to attend. Let me know if you want to be on the list and I'll stream out some information for you as things evolve. You MUST sign the privacy agreement, so I know your ages and more about you. Your feedback will help us all decide which way to go with this. Go to this link: www.anakosha.org/privacy.html and submit it to me. This could be the start of something new for the local area of Naples and Bonita.
How to open your personal relationship up to include intimate others requires knowing and understanding about 50 pieces of information (a random number). These are important points to you feeling good with yourself while enlarging your circle of intimate friends while at the same time protecting and enhancing your personal "at home" relationship. It's a juggling act that couples are not aware of in the beginning when first playing around with this. Since you are unique and the only "you" there is in existence, you need to know yourself well and become acquainted with how deeply you can feel and pick up information. You are destined to become the master of your SELF! Ignore instinct and intuition at your peril. These points help you to grow strong and successful in this endeavor (sensual fulfillment).
Meanwhile, all ages are welcome at the March 29 event. The cost is $50 a couple. Payment has to be made on arrival since we don't have a pay-online system. Share this information to appropriate friends. Have them contact me if interested. We are seeking good candidates for a special younger couples group. Any questions? Just ask. I love to write and will be glad to explain.
We have one senior couple signed up for the one after, the May 10th event. Reservations are being taken even now for future events. I have a list and a good system to keep track of everyone who is interested. Here is another reminder: there is very little room for singles. This is for couples. But if an appropriate person signs up (which means someone I have come to know quite well and feel would enhance the group) then I will seek someone of the opposite gender to balance it. The two singles are not obligated to each other. It's just that we require a balanced number of female bodies and male bodies. It's an energy thing which is so subtle it has taken me many years to understand.
2/13/14 - (From a newsletter sent today) I regret to report not enough couples responded to the Meet, Greet & Massage on Sat., Feb. 15, so it has been cancelled. There have been signs of interest and strong letters of support but no promises except one with a couple and two who are hesitating. It's just not enough to go forward with it. I wish it were different. I was so looking forward to it.
The next Meet, Greet & Massage is scheduled for Saturday, March 29. It is for couples of all ages. To get onto the list, sign the privacy agreement (if you haven't already) at: www.anakosha.org/privacy.html. Or if you have signed it, send me a message by return email.
This is designed for couples who would like to expand their relationship beyond monogamy in a gentle and sensitive manner. It's easy to attend a swing meet and greet, or a swing convention or a swing lecture or a swing party, but it is not so easy to explore connections at events like that. It is simply too fast with too many people. This is smaller and slowed down. It is designed to help move you past the surface level to connect with the more real person underneath. It is not that scary. And you don't have to find "that perfect couple" in order to play the massage game. It is through feelings that we process everything new in our lives, no matter what it is. And when you are about to stroke another person, it is not really them that is scary, but you. You hold the fear, not them.
It is good to practice touching and being touched without the pressure of sex because then you can find out that it's not so scary after all. The fear is all in your head. An evening of massaging others intimately pushes you past the first barrier. One fear down, several more to go. It is through practicing something that we get better at it. It is how we find out whether we want to pursue it or not. What happens in most swing socials is we keep the socializing at surface level and don't have a chance to feel or adjust to the other person on deeper levels.
So many couples get turned on by a momentary flash of attraction or allowed themselves to be pushed into something, but then find out they can't handle it and it turns awkward from there, with repercussions afterward. A human being is a complex energy unit. There's a lot going on inside a person! I myself have done this very thing. I allowed myself to be coerced. This is a chance to go slow, tread softly, gather knowledge and information about a person or another couple.
Loving Touch Massage follows a social discussion first to get to know everyone in the group. Then getting to know them in a closer way on the massage table. It's a higher-level of consciousness, more full-bodied. It is not sexual but it is very, very sensual and very compatible and harmonizing. We just saw last night a documentary on "cuddling". There are cuddle parties going on in the U.S. today. People wear clothes while they engage in puppy piles. It is not sexual. There are cuddle therapists who charge money to hug and cuddle clients who are willing to pay for it, including married people who don't get enough love at home. A touch therapist explained on the show how people are touch deprived in our culture, so he says it is not that unusual for people to pay to be lovingly cuddled.
I suspect that a lot of men reading this will think they don't want a warm cuddle or nurturing massage if there's no sex involved, but they find out different once they get into it. Many women wish they COULD be hugged, loved and cuddled more often at home, but they often can't get it unless they agree to have sex with it - and it's not the same thing.
So this is my idea to help. See what it feels like to be warmly touched and loved up close. Don't you like it? You don't have to have sex to appreciate human love. That's the big mistake our culture has done to us: it's either sex or nothing. While some people may not agree with this statement, that's OK. There are others who do and they are the ones I am speaking to. The others should pass this by and let it go.
Deeper connections are formed through slow, gentle massage. it is erotic in a way. And the buildup forms connections for later followup. You will get to know people so much better this way than you could in a social swing situation that does not include massage. Most swing parties are either/or - you either talk or you go to bed and have sex. It is possible to expand this and create a more loving lovestyle. Bring your social card to give out.
This is a brand new idea that Anakosha is presenting for couples seeking to explore beyond monogamy. It's simply a way of meeting people but on a level that is caring, not raucous. While swinging also is an opportunity to break out of the monogamy box, this design is a careful step into the arena. It is enjoyable without expectation or pressure to carry it further, yet you will make some new contacts for future get-togethers. That's probably the hardest part of all in swinging. Who do you know to follow up with?
The evening will be officially over at 11 pm with an invitation to stay longer for hot tubbing and further conversation. Check onto the website for any updates:
2/8/14 - (From newsletter sent today.) There have been several inquiries into the Meet, Greet & Massage next Saturday, February 15, 2014. They are all ages, from 20's to 70's. Yesterday I had a nice letter full of questions that I loved answering, and I'll send it on to you. I love the questions. I love feedback. It helps me understand where people are coming from. We can relate better. I think I come from the future which is a much freer and more harmonious place, and I am trying to come back and share what I know and have discovered. My late husband used to say, "Come down to my level. Don't be like all the other flakes in the world. Show ME!" So it is important to talk about these things. And, be patient with me, I can get very wordy in the process. This is the letter:
A few people are responding to the Massage event on 2/15/14 and I am talking with each one. I'm glad you are enjoying the process, for it IS a process. The round-robin simply means sitting down in the living room and going around introducing yourselves. After that I want to have a polarity treatment right there in the living room. I'll put the massage table up and you're still in your street clothes. This is a really good way to "ground" people into themselves to feel more comfortable and at peace. It is an energy thing with different people participating. I'll explain in person. My husband doesn't really know what I'm going to do, so he will be one of the group following the program.
We'll keep our clothes on in the living room while talking and doing the polarity. I will explain some things, point out approaches, how to think, how to touch, etc. It's an instruction that needs to be explained first, mentally, to prepare and line everybody up so they are thinking on the same wave length. What I find so disturbing in swinging, which I love and have adapted to, is that everybody is coming from a different direction. It's like grand central station to me. It's wild because there is no mental order, no refinement. It's a great big chaotic party but that's what swinging is! People do it that way. That scenario has been my training ground for the last 30 years. It is why new people have such a difficult time entering into swinging. But for me, I am aware of how beautiful it can be when people slow down and agree to quiet their auric vibrations and get onto the same track and be at peace with one another.
Well, anyway, that's the goal - to bring harmony out of chaos because it's a beautiful, wonderful, feeling where people are all on the same page and there is this deeper connection. You can go deeper and meld better with other people. That's the mental part - explaining things.
The emotional part is the actual touching. I have said we need to align our mental with our emotion. I know it's scary to get close to people and just the thought of it can be frightening. But I'm here to facilitate, help, ease the way in a natural and comfortable manner. It will be like crossing a no-man's land or a bridge, where nothing is happening, but then you arrive on the other side of the bridge and everything is now happening. That is what touch with peaceful loving intentions brings. It's movement and it moves people. It's exciting. It's stimulating. It's connecting. It causes new feelings to happen. We are exploring feelings.
As for nudity, there will be a break after the living room discussions and polarity session, and I'll ask people to get out of street clothes and into their pareas. Consider this semi-nudity. Considering that we are all strangers, modesty and shyness will be a factor. So we don't to shock the senses, but to go slowly into the semi-nudity. When we start massaging and touching in a loving way (again, I will explain more in person) we will want our body to be free of encumbrances like street clothes and the vibrations of the "every day". We want to be more available to take off the parea if we want to, or continue to wear it even while getting a massage if that would be more comfortable. You can sort of drape it over you. I will address that concern during discussion. It is possible to massage someone with a sheet over them. We will have sheets available too. I have done that before. It's a nice feeling. So we don't have to be totally naked, but rather consider yourself to be unbound by street clothes.
As for men touching other men, they will not need to if they don't want to. I know that's an issue with men. However, I will work with them in an easy fashion and ask, would you mind touching the foot of this man? Or the hand? If they don't want to, that's OK. We're not doing this by any book of rules, but rather it is a melding together of our different consciousnesses and exploring. We're paving a path together, mutually, where each person is contributing what he can, or she can in a positive way. No forcing, no coercing, no manipulation. No rules. No either-or. We are playing with our feelings. Each one of us has a unique history, which may have been abusive and caused wounds, but each of us is also reaching forward, advancing towards betterment and some "more that we know is there. So there is that factor of seeing how far one is willing to push the envelope based on on what's happening at the moment. It can't really be pre-determined because we don't know what the moment will bring since we are exploring feelings. Feelings change. That is what I do - I work with a person's consciousness and willingness. That's what everybody will be doing here. It's a discovery process and it's in motion. It's changing by the minute when there is something like this going on.
There has been a lot of abuse in the world. We do not know what kinds of abuse a person has been through, or how deep the wounds go. But it has been my privilege to learn, in a very powerful, wonderful school called swinging, that loving touch backed up with loving thoughts, goes a long way to erasing the old patterns and establishing new patterns of feelings of trust, warmth, caring and love. It is this caring that is the turn-on. It's not meant to ring the genital bells but it's a whole-body turn-on. Sweet, caring, loving is the goal. Love is the reason for doing this - to show that love is the precursor to lovemaking. Love needs to be made. It has to be created. As the saying goes: "Love isn't something that was put here to stay. Love isn't love 'til it's given away." It's not the sex itself. It's the warmup to sex. It's the beginning motivation which is so often skipped over. A couple can carry the warmup and the love to whatever extent they want to at another time, but not on the tables tonight. No sex on the tables. Because that would abort the whole-body process. Warmup, warmup, warmup. It's missing in so many lives because it has not been taught. There's been no training. Tantra is teaching this from another angle.
Some men are responding, "Well, why would I want to do this if there is no happy ending? or if I can't have an orgasm?" I would say, The happy ending COULD be there if you earned it. But you can't have it if you don't do the homework first. Learning to hold back is part of lovemaking, in order to prolong the pleasure and build and build and build. Warming - warming - warming - almost there but not quite. A little more. A little more. Keep going. (Etc.) Again, this part has been missing and women over the centuries all over the world have been terribly abused because of the focus on men getting theirs without consideration for the woman.
Yes, we will be rotating massage. Everybody will have a chance on the table, so the time will come when your husband will be on the table. Those around him at his table group will ask him when he gets on if he minds being touched by a man. Or where on his body he would NOT mind (hands? feet?). We'll talk about this in the group discussion. Find out and articulate what your boundaries are and you can keep refining it. But we are not going to do friction rubbing on genitals.
Each table will have either 2 couples or 3 couples to it. There could be just 2 couples at your table - you two and one other couple. Or there could be 3 couples at your table. At this point, we don't know how many will be in attendance. There is also the question of what room to put the tables in, so I'll have to wait and see. But again, it is a process of expanding your tolerance level at the negative end, and pushing the envelope at the positive end of your own awareness. And then exploring past the boundary line and seeing what happens. We are working with the emotional feelings that are unpredictable because they are so often suppressed. In everyone.
We have not been allowed to explore our feelings unless we went behind the barn, so to speak, and did it illegally. Even in swinging they frown on letting your feelings show. Feeling love or talking love-talk is taboo in swinging, and yet it happens anyway. Times are changing. Our culture raises us to suppress feelings and to watch out. To be afraid of this and that. To be in fear mode. It continues to this day. Be suspicious. Don't trust anyone. It's the culture we are raised in. And even though we are in the process of changing that, it's taking a long time. The future is not like this. There is much beauty, harmony, peace, love, freedom and givingness. So this event is a chance to take the first step towards that, by exploring innate feelings of beauty, harmony, peace, love and freedom. They are there within. Always within. In order to do this, though, we have to create a feeling of loving safety or it won't work.
You must sign the privacy agreement in order to attend, if you haven't already. Go to this link: www.anakosha.org/privacy.html, fill out the personal information and submit it to me. I'll respond. Pay on arrival - cost is $50 a couple, $25 a single (but singles need to be paired.) I would be pleased to respond to any further questions by return email. Diana
2/7/14 - (From a newsletter sent out two days ago.) Apologies to the one couple who signed up thinking this Meet, Greet & Massage was for young couples only. We really did want to give the young couples a chance to have an intimate evening with their peers, but it has been two weeks and only one response came in. On the other hand we had four expressions of interest from couples over 50!
Because this is evolving out of a show of interest, we must move on to the next phase of the plan, and that is to open it up and welcome couples of all ages. So no matter what age you are, if you are a couple and you BOTH are equally interested in attending this event, you are invited to join (if you are over 21) the Meet, Greet & Massage on Saturday, February 15, from 7 to 11 pm. Cost is $25 per person ($50 a couple).
In order to come to this group massage, I will need you to sign the privacy agreement if you have not done so already. Go to this link: www.anakosha.org/privacy.html. It is for couples. As soon as I receive your information, I will respond with some personal details about ourselves and our home. If you are single, I can pair a male single and a female single together, if there are two such individuals who respond. The schedule for this year's Meet, Greet & Massages are as follows. Take a moment to look at them if you are interested. You might want to mark them on your calendar. They are permanently fixed. Sat., February 15 Sat., May 10 Sat., June 28 Sat., August 2 Sat., September 13 Sat., October 25 Sat., December 6
It is an event for couples who are newly reaching out, or just thinking about reaching out, perhaps simply curious about reaching out - to explore intimacies with other couples. There will be no sex involved. This is a small open door, just a crack, to look at what sharing love or expanding the love that you have between you, feels like. This is the root cause that motivates ALL couples to reach out. People think it's all about sex, and yes, that may be the more obvious reason. But it's really about expanding your consciousness, your mind, your feelings, your awareness into a larger field of interactions with others. Sharing.
Swing parties are a little hard-core for the newly exploring couple who is yet unsure how to proceed as a joint mind. So we at Anakosha have stepped in to provide an evening of exploration without the actual sex-swapping.
At a swing party, sharing intimacies begins with conversation (the first step) and moves to the bedroom (the third step), totally skipping over the second step. It is difficult to explain the second step because it is an inner feeling of comort and peace and connection. It is emotional. It is non-verbal. You can't define it very well, you can only feel it. It scares most people because we don't often get a chance to explore these feelings, and therefore we don't get the opportunity to measure it or work with it or manage it or to define our boundaries with it. It requires going through certain experiences emotionally first in order to understand WHAT you are feeling.
Anakosha is offering the second step as a way of exploring feeling through loving touch massage. Not massage as in muscle massage or therapeutic massage, but simple loving strokes in small groups, where you get to know the others. It is not one-on-one massage or even two-on-two massage. The small group format precludes neophytes from attaching emotionally to one another. If you haven't explored or felt these feelings before (sensual, warm, close), it is easy to fall into attachment. It is what scares people. So we use the group format to talk about it and experience it. It is like a workshop. In a sense you will be working at understanding your emotions - something swinging doesn't want to address and frowns on you doing any of that sensitive "feeling" stuff.
The vibrational connection we are reaching for here in a group massage encounter is not personal and it's not impersonal. It is unifying. It is warm and connective and compassionate. Giving pleasurable touch to someone else is rewarding. And lying back to receive pleasurable touch is a way of allowing the good feeling to return to the giver in a figure 8 loop. And all the while we are in touch with each other. It is light, easy, casual, safe, trust-enducing and sensual. You will be surprised.
The Meet, Greet & Massage evening is something new being offered. I will send out another little blurb tomorrow to keep you informed and updated. We only have a week and a half before February 15, so I want to keep you reminded that this event is definitely going forward.
I wish you love and blessings and do hope you will let me know if you are willing to take the first step into this new lovestyle being offered. I'll be glad to answer any questions. Just ask!
1/29/14 - Trying hard to put into words the sacred process behind loving touch massage, which does not rule out the sensual but enhances the sensual. Love enhances the sensual and frees us up to journey MORE into the sensual, the physical. I had a massage encounter this morning with a couple and there is nothing so precious as a "hands on" experience with refinement, dignity, freedom and love. I found a writing from many years ago (in my own hand) - Approach people with a clear picture of how far their aura extends. The radiation from a person or object is the real body of that person. Begin touching people by touching first their aura. Approach them on that level. This is the beginning of living in the world of love.
As you start interacting with auras you will grow in appreciation of yourself. As your awareness grows and fills your cells and tissues, you will cultivate love within the fields of your being. This is the first lesson. You are moving beyond abstract knowledge now, into the emotions of the thing itself. As you learn the process, record the process. The secret is to stop focusing on the hard edges of physicality and begin focusing on the non-physical energies, which are feelings and which must be felt rather than observed. Of necessity, you must employ feelings and senses. That which hovers invisibly in the air between you is felt not through physical touch but through the emotional sensations.
1/24/14 - The new format for massage (meet, greet & massage) for couples in their 20's, 30's and 40's, leads me to expand on the reason why Anakosha is presenting this. I gave two massages yesterday and today, and the clients had responses that were exact opposites. I am constantly learning through hands-on touch.
One client did not receive the massage well at all. His energy was thick and dense and he would not relax. He was focused on the physical aspect of the massage, thinking sex, forcing me to speak to him forcefully. He was jerky, dull and nervous. He was a challenge! But my job as an energy worker (I'm licensed) is to get past the surface (skin) of the body and integrate the physical with the feelings and the feelings with the mind and the mind with the spiritual. Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual are layers that we use every day in our life. They are consecutively lighter layers of energy as they ascend upward from the dense physical through the emotional feelings through the mental thoughts through the spiritual (moral principles and ethics). These four layers of energy interpenetrate one another but they are normally out of alignment which causes discomfort. When you are comfortable in your skin, you are in alignment on these four levels. This is why massage feels good, and an energy massage feels even better.
These layers of energies are real. I sense them, feel them and work with them. It's not easy to describe them because they are an experience that I detect with MY four layers of energy. This client had a shell of armor built into and around him that I could not feel or penetrate. I was surprised that he relaxed at all but he did, after I talked to him. But he merely stopped being jerky and moving around. I still couldn't feel a connection with him.
The second man I worked with was a delight. He became still like a deep clear pool of water as soon as he was on the table. His mind stopped, his body stopped, his feelings went into neutral and became very still. He was unusually clear, and I also connected with his spiritual layer, which is the higher mind or where one's higher principles live. His physical body was not soft, but he was not hard but more like he was transparent to my touching. I penetrated his energy layers easily for he had no resistance. I was amazed! I don't experience that very often.
As I was moving my hands over his skin, I couldn't help but compare his energies with the man of yesterday. This man was allowing me in. He was not resisting me. He was receptive. He was very, very still, like a deep silent pool of water. I was drawn to go deeper. I appreciated his receptivity. I began thanking him silently. My feelings began flowing automatically towards him because he was inviting me in by attitude.
Feelings of love energy began to flow from me to him and soon I was connecting on all levels. Remember, this is not sexual but a whole-body treatment. It is a massage. I work with the energies of this body with my mind and awareness. I am connecting with the energy of love in him, for lack of a better word (love is the only word I can find). This beautiful energy is in him because it's in everybody, but usually it is stopped and stagnant. Because when we walk around and do our daily tasks and interactions, our attention is outward focused on "things".
But the energy of love is within us even when we are busy. So when this client stopped being busy and laid down on the massage table and became receptive, I was able to connect my energies with his energies, and the energies are, for lack of a better word, love. I am trained to let my energies flow. I have learned that over the years. I do not resist very much. This allows me to be an energy worker. I use my energy to stir my client's energy It is done by thinking positive thoughts of caring and appreciation. It is not difficult to move and stir the love energies in a person if that person makes himself or herself open and receptive.
As I continued working with this man, his energies and my energies became one. It was a wonderful feeling and I thought "If only this would happen within the couples swing parties!" But my efforts have failed at swinging because the main focus is on sex. So then I began thinking of a massage group that would not go into sex, at least not that evening. It would be wonderful if they would take the time to learn this technique and practice it. Then they would be so ready.
Since most couples in swinging think "sex" even when they engage in massage, they are just like the first client who was nervous and grabby and would not relax and become receptive to intimate connection. This is common among men and among some women too. Among men because most men don't have the training to understand what intimacy feels like. Among women who have been hurt or abused so much they are defensive.
I realized by comparison between the two men, that client number one was fearful. He did not want me to reach him or connect with him on an intimate level. I don't know why and it's not important for me to know why. It is only important for me to try to soothe and integrate the four layers of energy. That is my job. I am a therapist. But I can't help but think that couples in swinging would benefit from learning how to "make love" happen in one another. Swingers would hugely benefit from this knowledge. Connecting AFTER making warm, wonderful, loving, blissful connection on all four levels through loving touch is so far beyond genital sex as chalk is from chocolate.
So, what I want to pass on this morning is just how important it is, when on the massage table, to consciously take a number of steps down and back. Relax. Let go. Become passive. Drop your guard. Open the cells in your body. Open your heart. Let the juices flow. Receive the one who is touching you. Go into receiving mode. Be passive. Become vulnerable. Allow this person who is about to give you loving touch to connect with all of you. You can feel their hands going deeper than skin level. It is not sexual. It is loving and caring and warm and healing. It is a wonderful connection., and a beautiful gift to give each other. A group of receptive people could take this experience to heights never before realized, through a group unified field of oneness. It is so well worth the effort.
There is no such thing as a GOOD massage if the one on the table is resisting. The challenge is to get the one on the table to trust. That's why you don't turn it sexual. Whether you want sex or don't want sex, either way it's going to keep you tied to the surface and you won't be able to go deeper. Anakosha wants to show the deeper aspects of love. You can use it for lovemaking later, but first experience it. I would never have discovered this fabulous approach if I hadn't gone to massage school and learned to touch the body from a non-sexual perspective. This is the most important warmup or foreplay ever. And it is what Tantra attempts to do.
So you could say the one on the table has a more important job to do than the giver. Because the giver will respond to the one on the table. They can't help it. It happens automatically. But becoming passive, open and receptive is the part that many people do not know how to do. Probably because they are afraid of being vulnerable. Putting up a shield of protection is automatic. It will take conscious will power to drop the armor, but you can if the environment and the group is safe. We have never been taught how to manage our vulnerability and work with the love that flows within us. And yet it is there all the time. It is our natural, innocent, innate lovable self that is blocked from expressing and flowing freely. Anakosha says it is time to learn.
Fear of intimacy is the most difficult fear of all to overcome. Fear of war is easier to deal with. You just go out and buy a gun or several guns and put up barbed wire. But what do you do if you are vulnerable? A person who will not receive loving touch is the biggest challenge for me and frankly, I see many swingers in this category. That's why I am eager to work with men and women (couples) who are willing to postpone sex in order to learn some more advanced lovemaking techniques and skills.
No one in the Anakosha group massage has to be afraid they will be jumped on or coerced into a sexual situation because it's not on the agenda for that evening's event. There are no apologies for this. It is a training ground but not the actual event. It is practice time to learn something so difficult that very few people are making love in the bedrooms of our culture. There is plenty of sex going on but not the making and building of love. It's all too easy to have sex. Anyone can do it. It's easy to do sex and it's easy to pretend sex. But it's virtually impossible to make authentic, genuine love, without learning how.
I have been radiating love for many years. Whenever I touch someone in massage or in the lifestyle of swinging or everyday life, I radiate love. I've been doing it for over 35 years. Now I'd like to show others how to do it. It is something that must be learned and practiced. When you can connect with people on these four levels in a warm, loving and respectful way, whether it be with your lover or your children or your parents, you enter the world of quantum physics.
It is what quantum physicists are trying to understand when they put it into mathematical formula. But the field of quantum healing has been known by the mystics since time eternal. It is simply changing the outcome of whatever you are doing by changing your attitude. Your thought affects the outcome. Negative thoughts create negative outcomes. Positive thoughts create positive outcomes. Loving thoughts create love in the world. The world of quantum physics and quantum mechanics is the study of the effect of energy on matter.
If a group of couples can create a unified field of warmth and love between each other by the application of appreciation, respect and consideration coupled with loving touch - just imagine what would happen when you started making love (having sex) in the middle of it?
1/22/14 - (Newsletter sent today) Massage evenings are starting again at Anakosha. They never did get off the ground last year. I guess it just wasn't time yet. Perhaps the stars were not in alignment. This time we are going to keep it to couples under 50, whereas last year it would have been all ages welcome. A couple might include a partner who is over age 50, but this is primarily for the youth of the world - not we elders. The energy is different. This event is focused on loving touch and practicing a new way of connecting with others of like mind. Future calender dates are: Sat., February 15 Sat., May 10 Sat., June 28 Sat., August 2 Sat., September 13 Sat., October 25 Sat., December 6 Gender balanced singles might be fitted in, but this is really for committed couples who have a relationship between them, because couples have built up an energy "body" between them and it is this energy body that we will be working with. It has been a struggle to define and isolate the right energies for this group. I did not want to start up another swing party for young couples, which we already have going for senior couples, because swinging does not include love or love "making". How to "make" love happen is a skill. Swinging's focus is on sex, not "making" love. And because I know women and I know men and I know couples (smile!) I want to nurture what is already there between couples in love and expand on it. They want to meet and mix with other couples (or singles) like themselves, so this is how we will do it. At least, let's try it and see. If all goes well, the group will evolve and advance into a beautiful group of advanced lovers who know how to "make" love and not just "do" sex.
If you are a couple over 50, let me know if you are new and interested and a non-sexual meet and massage like this. It is a new program that will evolve as people respond. Since Brian and I already host swing parties for senior couples, this is especially for younger couples, to give them a way to meet others of more compatible age. But we may be able to arrange a meet and massage evening for senior couples if that is what they want (and not swinging). Otherwise, we will invite a senior couple to a swing party if they are ready.
Each person has love running through them. Love is the life of the body. When that love dies, life begins to dry up too. It is love that keeps the body alive but we don't know that. We've been taught the exact opposite - to resist love. We resist loving ourselves and we resist giving love away freely to others. As a result we have a very sad world which is dying. It is time to open the flood gates of love, and this is how we can begin doing that. Gently and slowly.
Sexual love between two people is the best opportunity we humans have to expand love and allow it to flow freely. A good sex life spills over into smiles, hugs, pleasant attitudes, more abundance and creativity and on and on. But most couples don't let it flow freely when one is forcing sex on the other. When there are "issues" between people, love does not flow freely. Having sex is only good if there is consideration, respect and love for the partner in sex. Otherwise, a sexual encounter is brief. It expands and explodes and leaves a lingering glow, but then it's gone and nothing has changed. Sexual love is actually a portal for more life to enter. It can build a better life if love is present in the form of mutual appreciation, mutal respect, mutual kindness, mutual consideration and more. Tantra carries that further to reverence, praise and connection with your divine self.
What is built up between a couple of long relationship is love. That is, if the couple is constant in their respect and consideration for each other. Too many couples fall down on the job and "cheat" and guilt and shame enters the picture. They develop "issues" that muddy the water. We're not psychologists, we're lovers and swingers. One thing swinging has done, has been to pick up, dust off and save a few relationships from going under and getting divorced. Swinging is avant garde for the human race. We're just taking it a step further here. Love is a great healer of wounds, and sexual love with a caring partner can maximize that love and life itself to its fullest potential, because love is the portal through which blessings pour forth into the physical world. I'll try not to get into the philosophy here but to give you a mere "touch" of what this is about.
If this is something you as a couple would like to do after discussing it, let me know by signing the privacy agreement at www.anakosha.org/privacy.html. I'll respond once I receive it. There is a privacy agreement for couples and one for singles. If you can't remember if you signed it already, just ask me. Someone asked, "Why, if it's just massage, do we need to sign a privacy agreement?" Because we host swing parties in our home and the information you will receive will overlap. We need you to agree to respect OUR privacy in the same way that we will respect yours. We are sincere, accountable and responsible for our actions. We require all who attend here to be the same.
This is not a play date. No bedroom activities and no sex on the tables. This is a workshop meetup to practice a new way of connecting with potential future lovers. We will be developing our own little group inside of swinging that is a cut above swinging. It will be more loving.You will be meeting others on the massage table and in the round robin as we discuss the protocols. And there will be social time with snacks to talk with others and share contact information. Let me know if you are interested.
1/15/14 Well, it has been pretty wild since Thanksgiving, with a lot of personal growth and shifting going on. I have finally finalized the massage events and will post them next on the home page. As I wrote to someone today (I'll just copy and paste to save time) we must have the privacy agreement signed in order to attend the massage evening because we host swing parties in our home and it is impossible not to reveal that. So, we need everyone to be as responsible and accountable to us as we are to them. And we are responsible and accountable.
We are going to be delving into unconventional areas that could be interpreted as titillating, shameful or wrong by the general public. We are weaving sexuality and spirituality together (low mind and high mind). My husband is an attorney and he watches out for all of us legally.
We are calling the massage evenings "Meet, Greet and Massage". I will continue writing articles about sexuality and spirituality to continue to express the goal of raising the bar and preparing people for what is to come. The calendar of dates are below and shown on the home page. They are all Saturdays, from 7 pm to 11 pm. February 15, 2014 March 29, 2014 May 10, 2014 June 28, 2014 August 2, 2014 September 13, 2014 October 25, 2014 December 6, 2014
Meet, Greet & Massage
Each event will have 8 couples or 16 individuals. This may grow over time, but this is what we will require in the beginning. There will probably be some single individuals in the group but with gender balance. I will do the sorting process by email since I am in communication with some already. I would prefer all couples but it's not realistic. There are too many singles who are seeking what we are offering.
The event will start at 7 pm and go to approximately 11 pm. Cost is $50 a couple, or $25 a single. I have been writing about this for over two years, so the groundwork has been prepared. Everybody contacting me through Anakosha is interested in expanding their sexuality. After hosting swing parties for over 30 years, I have been designing this event to fill in what I feel is missing in swinging. It is the emotional or feeling element that is missing in swinging. Heart-centered feelings of intimacy and connection. This is a soft power but a very wondrous power indeed, for it has no boundaries.
Typically swinging and sex in general is genitally-oriented. It does not take into consideration the aligning of the four basic levels of a human being: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Without aligning, adjusting and attuning these four fundamental aspects of consciousness, we are not connecting with the fullness and richness of love. And I mean love with friends and strangers, not just with one's own personal life partner. There is a way to feel and share love with a variety of others without taking anything away from your own personal relationship, but rather enhance it.
It is taking the love that you already know and expanding it to a bigger, more expansive and larger, higher love by including more people in your field of love. That is the vision. I will be attempting to show this and demonstrate it. The biggest fear everyone has is that you will lose your partner to someone else. But from a heart-centered base one does not "fall in love", one lifts and expands their love to be more inclusive - not EXclusive.
So let us tread softly and gently into a more expansive lovestyle and hang on to your personal power. Don't "fall" downward in love and don't become attached to someone who is emotionally needy. That is what gets people in trouble. Instead, take a step UP in consciousness to the level of unconditional love and there you will remain clear and free. We will have some fun then.
Let me now give you the planned agenda. Most people are afraid of touching strangers, so we're going to jump right into touching. Keep your clothes on. In the living room, right away I'll have everyone participate in a clothes-on polarity treatment. Intimate touch is scary to a lot of people so we are starting there. It's a good connecting tool. It is gentle, relaxing, grounding and real.
7 to 8 pm - Polarity treatment fully clothed.
This is a grounding treatment where 7 people put their hands on an 8th person on the table for about 5 minutes in strategic positions. Then that person gets off, and another person gets on the table. I experienced this in a "vanilla" healing group (not sensual) and - WOW! It felt so marvelous I wanted to hug everyone there but it was not that kind of group so I held back. I have always wanted to implement this in a more sensually ready group, and this is exactly the right group to try it on. But this is just for openers, the real massage will come later. Besides feeling good, the other reason for doing this is to join our energies together. We are all one beneath our individual personalities. We are only separate in our experiences. We all come from the same loving source but we just don't know it. We will end this evening realizing more of the truth of that statement. There is so much to experience. So many good feelings to come from this.
8 to 9 pm - Round robin introductions, explanation and demo of massage
I will explain the practicalities of how the massages will be done and listen to feedback. I want to hear concerns and listen to suggestions. We are all a part of a bigger whole. That bigger whole is my vision. The group will be working towards that larger whole. Everyone is different coming from different backgrounds and histories of traumas, abuse, problems and issues. But behind this beautiful and colorful tapestry of so many personalities, there is a heart-centered spirit in each of us. There is something common in the heart of everyone, which is genuine, caring, compassionate and loving. That is the central anchor for this group towards which we are evolving. We are not going to engage in any bedroom fun tonight, but we can discuss it and even plan for a future event that will include that, but not tonight. There are reasons for this which I have been exploring in my writings, and will continue to do so.
9 to 9:30 - Break with snacks
While taking a break I will ask everyone to get out of street clothes and don a more casual wrap-around, like a parea (what the islanders wear) or a caftan. Men can wear these too. This makes it easier to conduct the massage. Choose something that you can take off and put on easily. I will have some extra pareas here, for I feel comfortable being nude in groups and I wear these often. We can still perform a massage around and through the fabric. Although nudity is the best way to give a massage there may be some people who are modest and will prefer to keep a fabric around them. This is practice in both nudity and intimate touching, and managing the ease of movement and social graces under these conditions. Everybody is going to be doing it so you are not alone but part of a group. It's really fun, and very freeing.
9:30 to 10:30 - Group massage
There are two logistical ways to go here. We can use 4 tables with 4 individuals to a table. Or we can use 2 tables with 8 individuals per table. Which table and with whom will fall into place naturally. There is an energy at work in every group and this group in particular will have a unified field energy that will start to build as soon as we all get together. We will follow the energy and see where it takes us. I have a logistical plan for each option, whether it's 2 tables or 4 tables.
10:30 to 11 - Debriefing and feedback session
After the massage we will meet back in the living room for discussion and feedback. This is the official end of the "Meet, Greet & Massage" event, but everyone is invited to stay later and relax in the hot tub or on the patio or living room to chat further. Bring social cards with your contact information maybe a picture to remember who you are. Give these to a person or couple you'd like to see again. This is how it's done in the lifestyle. Rather than embarrass them by asking them for THEIR contact information, which maybe they're not ready to give you, you give them your social card and ask them to contact you.
11 to midnight - Hottub is available
Contact me if you are interested. You may pay on arrival since we don't have an online pay account. Warmly, Diana
11/26/13 Yesterday I reviewed an e-book written by a long-time friend who tells an interesting story about newbies in swinging. You can access it at www.SophisticatedSwingers.com. It is good and I recommend it to the couple who is seeking an inside look into swinging. However, I want to put it into proper perspective with Anakosha's teachings.
There are not just two types of swinging in the world today, but three. The third has not been well defined yet. In my friend's book he explains the two categories of swinging as (1) the commercial club where you pay at the door and go in and wander around on your own. You take your chances among strangers without anyone introducing you or explaining the code of etiquette to you.
The second type of swing club is the private house party where people are screened by a responsible host couple, usually in their own home. They interview each couple to see if they are compatible, and explain what is expected of them, show them the house, the house rules, the etiquette and other niceties that make sense. Both types of clubs are swing clubs. They are mostly couples with some singles scattered throughout. One is anonymous, the other friendly.
The third category of swinger that is not quite here yet, weaves higher consciousness in with physical sex. It is only just beginning to come into existence. Tantra is a forerunner, but Tantra requires a couple doing it alone together, not sharing with others. Anakosha offers a teaching for swingers. You can study the higher consciousness of Tantra and still swap partners as swingers. In fact, this would be ideal and we hope it comes soon. This is a new teaching similar to that of Shiva and Shakti of thousands of years ago.
This approach takes into consideration the feminine side of human sexuality, which is profound and greater than anyone knows. A woman's capacity is unknown. However, men also have a feminine side to them, an inner side, so we can't rule out the huge capacity of male sexuality. It too can be profound.
I want to keep saying that this is possible for swingers. It is not something that a couple has to do all alone by themselves, as Tantra seems to require. I know individuals who are seeking for just the right partner to practice and learn Tantra with. But we can do the same thing with people other than our mate, which loosens up the pressure on our mate. I know my mate doesn't want to participate in Tantra, so that leaves me out unless I find someone else to practice it with. But this happens in swinging anyway. We all elevate our consciousness to other dimensional levels often in spontaneous swing situations. I have observed this over the years. It is a natural phenomenon when two people get into just the right vibration together.
The human being has an evolutionary seed buried inside that is ready to burst open when certain conditions are met, i.e., when the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual components all line up so they are flowing in the same direction with another person who is also all lined up and flowing. When the lining up of otherwise fragmented, sporadic and out-of-alignment components are suddenly in alignment, and all the forces in a person are flowing in the same direction, then amazing things happen. Ceilings are broken through. Out-of-body experiences take place. This is a natural and evolutionary process. It has happened on occasion - not often but occasionally - in swing parties.
This third category of swinging will provide a new perspective on love. The sacredness of the sexual union does not have to mean a ritual ceremony. Sacredness is in the eye of the beholder. It is a mental attitude. As we bring our thoughts around to appreciation, love, respect, honor and awe, we bring sacredness to the sex act. Then we draw on powers that are not human but divine. We are half human, half divine already. In this revolutionary new teaching we turn our full focus over to the higher realms, and allow our bodies to become infused with the sacred spirit of the divine. We can make love like no other love ever experienced before. Traditionally we recognize divinity during spiritual or religious events, but we lose it when we engage in sex.
The union of sex and spirit opens doors to more whole-body sensations - whole body sensations of love. It fills you up like nothing else can. There are no words to truly capture the experience. It goes beyond words. The young couple newly in love experiences it at first, but it quickly dies due to lack of attention. Attention is what is needed. Love is maintained through consistent attention. By slowing down the frenzy of excitement and passion which brings lovers to that much-desired orgasm, and then fades.
A more refined state of mind allows us access to and glimpses of dimensions not normally felt or seen. It is all about love. Whether you access the higher dimensions alone in meditation or prayer, or with a lover, it is still all about love. We swim in a sea of love. Love is everywhere around us and within us, but we have shut it down. Our way of life has shut off love at every turn.
The new playing field of swinging is recognizing our own greater capacity for love. We need to re-define what love is. It's not monogamy, or possessing your mate, or getting jealous or insecure or having veto power over what he or she does. It is also not "just sex" though it includes what we term sex. It is time we learn how to get past the "just sex" and access the higher planes of our love.
This was a practical teaching that Shiva and Shakti taught when they were alive. We live in a different culture today, with different rules and restrictions. But swinging is heading in the right direction - swapping partners. We can access higher dimensions while swapping partners. We don't need to cultivate the perfect lover and stay monogamous. We are bigger than that. We are more expansive than that. We have capacities that could take us to the stars. It is possible. I've been doing it for years. and we do not have to leave sex out of it. But what we term "sex" is not all there is. There is more. We need to adjust ourselves to the "more". It requires a shift in consciousness. This is the third category of swinger.
The advanced woman does not necessarily want romance with her sex. Many woman are seeking for the perfect man but others are not. Women are going through a great shift in consciousness these days. Each woman is evolving in her own way to more freedom. Some of these women do not want a monogamous relationship. Maybe they don't want a swinging relationship either. I find that many women don't know what they want. They are in the process of seeking. All they know is, they don't want to have to do it "the man's way". I see this a lot. Many women are tired of following men and are seeking ways to live their life more freely. She is trying to define herself and her needs. She stands alone and doesn't quite know where to go with this.
The advanced woman likes her freedom. She is looking for a lover or several lovers who will not own her, possess her, push her or demand anything from her. Many men make the mistake of thinking, "You know you want it, why not give in to it?" This drives women crazy. They don't at all see it that way. She feels as if she reduces herself to the man's level when she really wants to enjoy her sensuality on higher levels, and soar into greater love. She knows her capacities and she is exhausted from compromising them. She is capable of such great love and such great freedom. She is now looking for others who are her equal - both men an women. Freedom and love go hand in hand - the freedom to love and the love of freedom. They are two sides of the same coin and cannot be separated.
There are four aspects of oneself to bring into alignment: the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - PEMS for short. Some people are confused about the spiritual. It simply refers to one's higher values, principles, morals and ethical standards. Every person has a spiritual level but many ignore it in order to fit in with others and not make waves.
The voice of conscience is our own spirit talking to us. It's saying, "Take the high road. Be the best person you can be. Do the right thing." When a person follows their conscience, they bring into alignment the three lesser aspects of their being: the mental, emotional and physical. These four distinctly separate parts of an individual are destined to be aligned to bring greater peace, happiness, clarity and vision to everyday life.
I have created a new tab on this website called "Latest Articles" . One has been posted today, there will be more. I have hundreds of pages of articles scattered all over, both in paper and on the computer hard drive. It's amazing how scattered I have been. Information keeps pumping out through me. I've decided to channel some of this information onto this website.
Moving on to another subject. Yesterday I was talking to a man who said he was concerned because his wife of senior age doesn't show any interest in sex. I have heard this many, many times from men. He wants to know what is wrong with her? Some men are genuinely concerned that there is something wrong. For many years I have scratched my head as to how to explain this to the men. Men have said to me, "Why don't women tell us what they want?" This is such an old subject. Old but still unresolved.
The reason this is unresolved is because of the major difference between the way men and women are made. Men talk and explain themselves in no uncertain terms. They are the structure-builders of our society, so they have to know how to define themselves. They are logical and rational on this physical plane of existence. They have to be. They are the strong ones, the builders and protectors. They have to put everything into hard-wired order. They have to express themselves in words. They have developed their left brain very well, which is the side of logic, math and speech.
The opposite holds true for women. Women are internal. They are right-brained. Our perception sensors are the trillions of cells in our body. Not just in our brain, but from head to toe to arms to stomach - everywhere. Our scanning mechanism is in our fluids, our blood, our muscles, our waters. We scan the world around us and we scan our own responses to it. We do this unconsciously. Automatically. We are constantly in motion from a serene and quiet place within. We are always processing invisible data. We pick things up on the physical level, the emotional level, the mental level, the spiritual level (higher mind) and beyond in other dimensions. We are psychic. We know what's going on in our environment, even though we act as if we do not. We have dumbed ourselves down. I know I do. It's just the way our bodies are built.
Women are magnetic creatures while the men are electric. The women hold the center while men spark and buzz and create action everywhere they go. Men define the borders of how we can live. They define the laws. They define how far we can go, what we need, what is proper, what is not. Women do not have opinions because they are not designed to have opinions. They are designed to hold the soft center within so the men have something to come home to after the battle of the day. And the women welcome him. Women hold the center.
Men are opinionated. They are interacting with the world on a physical level. They are pushy. They think the whole world is just like them, and when they run into someone who is not, they will fight to bring them around. Competition is the name of the game with men. Define your space. Be strong. Stand firm. Fight, they tell their little sons.
Now, women are not like men. Women are busy holding the magnetic center. Women have do not define themselves. They are quiet, listening, scanning and holding the center. They are busy feeling and making a home for the man. I'm referring to the inner woman, not the catty outer personality which masks her inner self. Women can appear to be manipulative and aggressive, even ruthless, but inwardly her body is feminine and is busy scanning and perceiving. She is going to give to men what she thinks men want to hear from her. She has her manipulation down to a science. She has learned how to do this so well that she does not even know herself who she is. Ask a woman what she thinks and she cannot define it. She doesn't know because it's not her job to know. It's her job to hold the center and she has given her center away to the man.
Well, I've generalized a bit here. I took some literary license in order to describe the problem. It is deep. Men project their needs and wants onto women. And women, unfortunately, project their needs and wants onto men. When a woman does not think and act like a man, there is something wrong with her. When a man does not think and act like a woman, there is something wrong with him. Divorces and separation occur because we are each projecting our needs and wants on the other. Men think they know what women need and are genuinely concerned that the women don't respond the way he thinks she should. But in fact the women need something different than what men are projecting onto them.
Women can't express. They've been shut down for centuries. I heard just this morning from a woman who is going through a divorce. She expresses that she is through with traditional marriage. She wants to get involved in a polyamory relationship. She is tired, (fed up) with the alpha male who thinks he knows what she needs but doesn't give her what she REALLY needs. She has not had a connection with him for years, so why stay in the marriage?
Men are stuck in the physical and are clueless when it comes to emotional feelings. Depth, intimacy and love are beyond his ability to comprehend. Women understand men very well but in return men don't understand women - where they are located, how they operate, how deep, how far-reaching, how cosmic they go. The male organ is secondary to wanting someone who will connect with them in this deep place they crave so much. I've heard this so many times. One woman asked in a women's session one day, "How do you get a man to give you more foreplay? I told my husband I wanted more foreplay and he just went down on me quicker and harder."
Miscommunication is the culprit. The men do not get it. Not a blame game. It is the way it is. Men are designed to orchestrate the physical reality for us all. They are told to be strong and firm and say what you mean. It's true. It's not a put-down. I have been called a sexist - a feminist - in the earlier years of my life. And I believe I was. I was looking at things from the feminine side of the fence and I saw men lacking in sensitivity. Now I am in the middle zone between the left and right brain and I see the divide. The problem lies not in distance but in awareness, on both sides of the fence.
Women have got to start responding more true to their nature. We want more loving? It is time we stuck to our nature and demanded it instead of giving in to what the man wants if it is not what SHE wants. If she wants it too, of course, go for it. But it is damaging to both parties when women continue to yield to men against their desires, and this happens repeatedly. It is not helpful to our society to give one gender all the attention at the sacrifice of the other. It only ends up in the powerful one growing even more powerful, and expecting more and more and more from the other gender until "enough is enough" and either a murder takes place or a divorce.
If the roles were reversed and women were in charge of society, more powerful than the men, the men would be yielding to women in the same manner. And then the women would become more and more powerful and expect more and more and more until he would say, "Enough!" and either walk out or kill her or himself.
Miscommunication is a simple matter to resolve if everybody stops talking and starts touching in a kind and considerate manner. By getting the personalities, likes, dislikes and opinions out of the way (we call it ego) both sides of the fence would find common ground. Equal ground. The Kama Sutra was written some 1700 years ago. It translates to "Aphorisms About Love". It teaches people how to behave in a loving simplistic manner. Loving hands, loving approach, sensitive kindness, cherishing the lover, appreciating, uplifting, smiling fondly - it moves people to tears when this happens to them because they NEVER get it in this day and age. I advise all men to take two steps back and women to take two steps forward. Figure it out, what this means. You'll know.
Love is hidden inside the cells of the body. You can feel it moving when someone is kind to you. One feels it moving all over, from head to toe, if you give it a chance. It feels like your cells are floating in bliss. If you keep it up, it feels as if your cells are floating in ecstasy. And if you allow it to go further (with your partner or lover) you transcend everything you have ever known, ever, in your entire life. You will go places that you did not know was possible. The only reason this is so hard to accomplish is because most individuals are afraid of this awesome intimacy. It's scary. You need to hold hands and walk the unknown path together as friends. Be comforted on this journey.
I am still interested in hosting massage parties. Massage is the main focus of my life. It is a mission. It is sensual massage, not sexual massage. It is all over and into other planes of existence, not limited or focused on the genitals. It is a magic carpet ride. When a group of people get together and participate in group massage, it erases barriers and differences. Because inside everyone there is this primal energy from creator, which is love. Contact me if interested.