_                  The divine masculine

Last week I talked about the divine feminine approach to eroticism. Now let's talk about the divine masculine. Don't be put off by the "divine" word. It refers to that part of us which is MORE human instead of less, since many people are prone to belittle themselves and restrict themselves with limited beliefs. We are using the word "divine" to show the difference between our small, conpressed ego-centered nature versus the big, beautiful, heart-centered nature which at times expresses as power, clarity or purpose.  The terms "divine feminine" and "divine masculine" refer to individuals who have grown in stature and nobility by taking the higher road instead of the low. They have a greater sense of themselves and their purpose. They are kind, wise, strong, disciplined and very, very loving. These are the attributes that we see growing in people in the lifestyle of sexual sharing. This has very much to do with sex, love and intimacy with multiple partners. What we are doing here in Anakosha is articulating the virtues of our lifestyle. The mutiple-partner aspect of our lifestyle is at the very crux of the matter. We all get bored making love with the same person over and over. Eventually, without intending to, we start closing down and we start moving on automatic. But, when we start meeting other people and making love with others outside our primary relationship, with permission of course, then our heart starts quickening and opening. It's sort of miraculous.

Our approach to sex, love and intimacy is similar to Tantra in that we look UP to the higher self which is bigger, wider and more expansive, instead of down to the gutter which is smaller and contracted in self-disgust and loathing. When a man looks UP to his higher self he draws himself up into more light, love and greater will power and discipline, and he is able to bestow these qualities on the fair maiden lying in bed with him, whoever she is for we are talking lifestyle now and multiple partners. When a man trains himself to think thoughts of respect, love, giving, caring and nurturing he is taking the high road instead of the low, and this gives him a more attractive appearance. He has a "presence". Imagine him in contrast to the self-absorbed man who preens in front of the mirror and worries a lot about his image.

When a man approaches a woman with kindness in his heart, warmth in his eyes, a winning smile on his lips, patience in his demeanor and serenity in his aura, he expresses a powerful masculinity. It's like the hero warrior whose outshines the man who doubts himself and fears rejection or failure. THIS is the divine masculine.  As a man thinks thoughts of reverence, he grows up into the image of his more perfect ideal self, instead of reducing himself to street level. The god-man stands high and tall and is full his own spirit which spills over into the atmosphere around him. And he is gracious enough to allow the woman to take the lead in a sexual encounter, not to be submissive, but to invite her divine feminine to grow and blossom and come out to play on equal footing with him. This is the art and science of eroticism. It calls upon the divine self, the immortal self, and it is a skill that can be learned. Tantra teaches it. Anakosha is going to start teaching it. It is a shift from low small thinking to high grand thinking, and it reflects in how we live our life. Eroticism is when the divine power in us (the noble in us) is entertained and cultivated. We don't need to lower ourselves to be "one of the guys". We can stand alone, tall and free, without anybody's permission. Warriors and heros don't follow the leader. They ARE the leaders.

Now, lest you think I am getting carried away with some idealistic intellectual pursuit, let me say, these skills are already starting to be seen in our lifestyle. Not too often, but they are present. I have seen them. Our lifestyle of sexual sharing has the capacity to free up the spirit, and it's working. But learning how to take the high road is a skill that can improve our fun and pleasure in the lifestyle. It will make us better people, better socializers, better lovers, better friends. We are birthing something new here. I see these words in Tantra talk, but it's not in the talk, it's in the action. Really doing it. There is something exquisite, refined and immaculate inside every human being, but we are accustomed to putting ourselves down so we don't see it. We weigh ourselves down with chains from our authorities. We let others control us and tell us what we can and cannot do. We have become contracted people.

We are better than that and we let it loose at the parties. I can't tell you how much I see this at the parties. People let their walls down and they become free. I wish I could show it to you in writing. Sexual freedom changes everything. We change the level of joy and happiness in our lives when we drop the pretenses and engage in free love. One woman wrote today, "Have attended many other clubs and house parties over the years. I have found that lifestyle friendships are much closer than regular vanilla ones." We who are regular participants with multiple sexual partners feel the same way. When we let our sexuality be free, we ARE free. Our ability to love is free. I see us all in training and practicing, over and over, when we are at lifestyle parties. We are in training to be free of the old taboos, restrictions and repressions of years of embedded authoritarian control.

A little aside here: a lot of lifestyle people are afraid of the word "love" but when I use it here I am talking about FREE love. It is a light and happy sense of being free out in the fresh air without limits and our joy is expressing. I tend to get carried away with words, so excuse me for becoming ebullient. But take it back a notch or two and you get the picture. It is not personal, attachment love, but FREE love. No attachments are involved. It is not personal or possessive, the way relationships tend to be. If you are so free that you can say, "I love you" and it doesn't mean anything more than a fleeting expression of the moment, then you are there in the moment. There is no past or future. Freedom doesn't have a past or a future and this can be done in lifestyle encounters. I have said "I love you" quite often myself in lifestyle encounters, and I've heard others say it too in lifestyle bedrooms. It is when generosity of spirit overflows the heart and floods the vocal chords with this feeling that is beyond words and it is a momentary overwhelm. It recedes. Yes, of course it does. And we are back to being normal again. But the lifestyle is a nursery and it contains bedrooms of naked people who are practicing. People are learning to play together with a fullness of spirit.  Being in a bedroom with other naked people in the NOW moment where there is no fear, no doubt, no personal worry of any kind, well - that is a common scene at lifestyle parties. It is ours, anyway. It's not rare.

Sensual eroticism is played out in lifestyle bedrooms when men soften to allow the female to shine too, instead of insisting on taking control. Or vice versa, when the women soften to allow the male to shine. It's a give and take that creates mutual sexual fulfillment. Within every human being there is a loving nature that is pure beauty incarnate. When someone glows after orgasm it's like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. This beautiful shining being is often seen at lifestyle parties but not all THAT often. There's room for more practice. The divine human is alive and well inside all of us. It doesn't matter how old or young, how disfigured or fat or wrinkled a person is, they are beautiful on the inside and we can cultivate that beauty which is strong and noble and wise. It is in the spirit of the individual.  I have seen this glow on people in the group room of naked bodies and it is simply amazing. The most powerful characteristic of all is love. They radiate love. When they drop their restrictions, taboos, guilt, and all that dark stuff, they radiate love. Free love, not attachments.

I'm talking about sensuality here. I'm talking about body's that are capable of loving others in a full-body context. I am not talking about abstract spiritual stuff where people hold hands and pray together or ooommmm together (I've done plenty of that myself). No, this is sexual. Most spiritual people are trying to escape the body and rise above it. We are coming down to inhabit the body and enrich the body. This is down to earth, up close and personal while the attitude is free and loving. We are not attaching to each other as in "falling in love". There is no heavy stuff here, nothing to fear in losing your relationship, because our minds are on the high road and full of light. We are learning, in our play times, to love from a higher, lighter, looser, freer plateau, and therefore without limits and without confines.  Morality lies heavy on us in our normal day-to-day, but at play time we shed those dense coverings, emerge from the ancient slave-cocoon and fly free. During our lifestyle parties we are in training for greater love. We are practicing it at every party. Every female you see has the ability to love beyond measure if allowed to do so. The female is the key. She can love without limit better than a man. So every man needs to learn how to allow her and he too will love without limits. There is a  responsibility to learn these skills for the future of our race.

The divine feminine and the divine masculine are our higher selves, versus the lower gutter behavior. The higher and the lower both live inside of us. We feed one and starve the other, as the old Indian medicine man teaches. It is our choice which one we feed. As we assert self-discipline and thus take responsibility for our words and actions, and hold our angry tongue, we feed the higher in us. Then our loving encounters are pleasureable and we gain a good reputation.

We are each on a journey of personal self discovery which includes sex, love and intimacy - the most sacred aspects of our humanness. We are being drawn inexorably through our love-making to higher ground because if we fall to the lower we are rejected. The higher we go the more we are appreciated, loved and respected. Bottom line, the lifestyle is teaching us to take the high road. Thus we are spiritualizing our bodies and grounding our divinity into physicality.

It is within every person's power to become more loving because he or she is already love. We are made of love. Love is inherent in the DNA and the cells of our bodies. When we lie down with someone in the bedroom and start rubbing and kissing on each other, that love start to move. It's stagnant until we start rubbing. Then it's like a river which is sluggish at first but then it starts flowing, bringing the spark of life into every part of the body. We can't help but move and undulate with the flow. End.



                   Newsletter 1/19/12

                                                                     Heart-centered swinging

Greetings everyone! Anakosha is now a school. We recently announced for the first time that a new lovestyle would be emerging in Southwest Florida. This is a follow-up newsletter to keep you informed. These sessions will be monthly on the first Saturday of each month. The first class will take place Saturday, March 3, 2012 from 7 to 11 pm, in Naples, Florida. Since you are on our email you are receiving this. If you do not want to continue receiving these messages simply hit REPLY and ask me to remove you. But consider this before deleting:


This lovestyle is growing out of the underground movement called swinging with the feminine in mind. This new movement has a higher, finer vibration which the women will appreciate. It's all about stre-e-e-tching the ability to love. The bar has been raised. The feelings of the heart are included, and the high moral ground of spirituality. The divine feminine and the divine masculine resonate within new Anakosha. In contrast, swinging is focused on physical sex whereas Anakosha will include the integration of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of each of us, for a more complete and fulfilled experience.


There is much to talk about. On a practical level how do we meld the common sex act that we're all used to, with the higher forms of free love, untainted by jealousy or possessiveness? The sacred love of the goddess-priestess? Through women, of course!  They have the innate knowledge of what I'm talking about. Raising the bar means raising the consciousness from crudity to refinement and women will lead us. It is an honor and a privilege to touch another human being, and should be done with love. Every woman has natural skills of seduction and eroticism when she is cut loose of the controls that keep her down. Sensual love is a heart-centered feminine skill that radiates with unconditional affection and tenderness. Every woman has it. Tough men and women may reject it but they all melt under the skills of a goddess of love. It's time to respect it and start recognizing it and practicing it. New light is dawning on the horizon. It's called freedom to love. And the love of freedom.


Free love requires letting go of jealousy and possessiveness, but we ALL need to learn how to do that. It's not easy. We've been programmed to  monogamy. But it can be done. Not by substituting one for another but by expanding. Stre-e-e-tching our heart to be more open. It has to do with honesty and communication and listening. Talking. Verbalizing. And that's what we're going to do at these lifestyle discussions.

Let the women lead

Let the women lead us. It is awesome to be made love to by someone who appreciates you and elevates you. and ALL women do this for their men. All women carry the code of nurturing, loving and caring. The female body was made for that reason: to support, encourage, lift up, and be ever present for those who need her. The female has an infinite capacity to forgive and forget, and to love without limits, which is why she has been used and abused so much over the centuries. It is in her nature to give, endlessly. These magnificent qualities have not been recognized, and yet they have saved mankind from extinction over and over and over. The divine feminine is teetering on the edge at this very moment. It's about to tip the whole world over by releasing her love out into the world. Not just here, but everywhere. In fact, for those who want to understand Tantra better, it is a 5,000 year-old secret teaching based on the female feeding the man, in ritual and ceremony, with her great, unending wellspring of love. The man's whole being opens and expands as he learns to respect and receive her outpourings of universal love. Are you men ready?

Not a sex party

This discussion is not a sex party. It is a meeting of minds and an introduction to both swinging and Tantra. They are compatible IF respect is given to the emotional and spiritual aspects of everyone there. These gatherings, called classes because of the educational slant, have several purposes: (1) to meet others on the same wavelength, (2) to provide insight into swinging, (3) to provide insight into Tantra, and (4) to seed a local community by brainstorming a practical game plan for more explicit sessions.

Advice for men

Among the couples, it's usually the men who surf the net seeking new sexual opportunities. Women surf the net looking for intimacy and love. If you men are surfing alone without your wives or girlfriends, you are making a mistake. While it may be appropriate for you to research a way into a new lovestyle like this, it is your lady who holds the key to your success. Singles, take a hint. Men cannot enter this love style without a woman by his side. She is the one who provides the impetus, the motivation, the power to make it happen. It's time to open up communication. Ask her to look at the Anakosha site and newsletter. I have heard an endless string of men say, "My wife would never ---" or "My girlfriend doesn't like --" which indicates to me that communication has broken down. She has needs and urges too. So, this is an appeal to you men: don't leave your woman behind as you gather knowledge. Share it with her. Strike up a conversation. Don't leave her stuck in the old paradigm of being a nice wife, a good mother, and a moral, respectful member of her community who would "never do such a thing". That's your projection. That's the rut you and she have been traveling for years. She needs your help to get out of the rut. Help her expand. Open your mind to the new "her". She is there waiting for something "more". How is she going to do it without you? If she is part of a couple, she needs your help.

How to sign upGo to www.anakosha.org/membership.html and read and sign the privacy agreement form. It asks for some personal information which will be held in confidence. We have an in-house attorney who oversees it. Then pay $20 per person. Each person submits separately. In today's age many couples do not live together, so, taking that into account, we are asking each woman to be responsible and sign herself up. In the old system women were more dependent on the man to lead the way into swinging. Anakosha prefers to empower women in making their own decisions to join these discussions.

Who or what is Anakosha?

Anakosha was incorporated in 1994 as a not-for-profit by four couples. It was a continuation of the Sensitivity Seminar Group of Zephyrhills, FL, where Diana and her late husband Bob led 8-hour seminars on swinging and lifestyle parties for the graduates. After Bob's death, Diana met and married her present husband who helped her incorporate Anakosha to continue the exploration of sex, love, marriage and alternative relationships. From 1994 to 2008, Anakosha held two-hour orientations for beginning couples and then invited them to stay for a fast-moving lifestyle party after. This effort was eventually recognized as not working very well. Couples new to the concept needed more time to grow their relationship into such an open sexual lifestyle. After a 3-year period of inactivity, Anakosha was changed to an LLC wholly owned by Diana who is the inspiration behind Anakosha. She has designed this program to include knowledge of the aura and chakras to refine and elevate the love connection in the lifestyle. Her husband remains her partner, and provides legal and technical support. For the story behind Anakosha and its philosophy, see www.anakosha.org.