Integrating the divine feminine and divine masculine - the heart is the new base line
This page was updated on 1/21/20. Anakosha was originally a couples swing site posted in 1994. It focused on sexual sharing between couples. Many parties were hosted, couples entertained, events and mini-conventions shared. In 2012 it expanded to include the feminine aspect of spiritual love through writings and blogs. Events continued to happen but gradually declined and all events stopped in 2017. Writings continued as a blend of sex and love.
The galactic connection was introduced as a second sister site in 2012, and also a world meditations side was added soon after. In 2019 a goddess website was added. All of these are linked to Anakosha is the mother which seeded them as a continuing consciouosness for Diana, the owner. Her journey has been recorded in the various pages in her evolution. Diana is the sole owner of this website. You may contact her (me!) at the contact page. Thank you, bless you.
Love on a personal level inspired this journey and it has led up and out of the sexual arena, not to exclude it but to put it into a proper place on the journey. Love much bigger than sex. The concept of universal love has expanded in this writer, as it does in all people willing to let their minds expand along with it. It starts with personal love and leads to more spacious love which takes on more sacredness as one allows oneself to feel the sacred within. Complicated issues fall away as wholeness is expanded into. Personal love becomes selfish love becomes needy love and possessive. Insecurity and jealousy consume the small-minded person unless there are releases and forgiveness and expansion into greater love.
Human consciousness expands with age and experience if it is willing include the small challenges and use the forgiveness process or the overcoming process of letting go of whatever bothers and torments. We suffer if we keep going over the same ground that hurt us, and when we try to find answers in the past. The future is unknown and one must trust in it and let go of the past. There is a divine nature. Diana's journey is letting go and stepping into the unknown which leads to the divine nature that is everywhere present as a Presence. Levels disappear in the presence of the present moment. I am Diana and I use this site to record my journey.
While I expand into areas beyond where most people want to go, I am still human and am becoming more grounded by the day. Thus I am able to speak of controversial subjects by way of share my story. I have not abandoned sex, as some think I have, for it is the corner stone of physicality. It cannot be abandoned but it must be anchored into one's reality with love. Love is its equivalent, not to be abandoned or placed on a top shelf. It is in the middle of love that sex becomes sacred.
There are challenges in every human relationship. There is loneliness, depression, frustration and suffocation that borders on madness sometimes. These are among the feelings I observe in people. Yet, within every life and in every moment, no matter how bad it is, there is a way to break out and clear the air. I welcome contact if a reader is so moved to write to me. The ego is a strong, steel-like belt around the whole body and mind that has a strong hold on a person, but there is an easy-going, natural and warm loving Presence inside that is fluid and caring. Heaven really does exist behind the steel-like belt that holds one to limited beliefs. This Presence, from time to time, manages to break through like the sun from behind a cloud, and shine a path to someone they must meet.
Sometimes fear holds us back, in which case take a deep breath and determine to plunge into honesty mode. Tell the truth that has been bothering to someone else, a living person. See what happens. This is forgiveness. One stops holding onto it. When one stops hugging it close to the chest and owning it as if their life depends on it, then they open their arms and let it go. Lets it fly away to clear the air and break down the wall.
Wisdom and guidance are then at your beck and call. The huge barriers become tiny things that crumble into dust and blow away. Things get better. Relaxation occurs. Peace enters. A deep and abiding peace. In this website, sex and swinging has been a main theme. Many wrote in out of frustration. "How can I get my wife or husband into swinging?" Or something related. Polyamory, cheating, having illicit affairs, single people searching for the right person, so many issues that are fundamental and basic to the mental health of a human being have come before me. Experimenting in swinging or open dating or taking a lover on the side - all of this good for a little while. It helps loosen the shackles and shake things up. But in the end these are bandaids to cover a broken heart. It's a dead-end search. There is no savior.
One must pick up ones own marbles and look to the sky, to the horizon, to the light above and move on. The next stage of consciousness is waiting. This may sound like a starry-eyed dreamer wearing rose-colored glasses, so let me put it into a practical perspective. Nobody has an answer to life's frustrations. Only the one who is experiencing the frustration has the answer. One should never run away from a relationship or a situation that has turned bad, even if it's a terrible loss or tragedy. It has come up and in your face for a reason. The relationship of 40 years which has grown frustrating because "I can't get what I want from my partner" is not the partner's fault. Running away is a cop-out. There is another way.
The home life provides comfort and safety - it's a warm nest for physical well-being and protection while making inroads in consciousness, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We are each on a solitary journey to expand our identity, our awareness, our place in the universe, our knowledge, our respect, our love of Self. We are wanderers, travelers. We have lived in many different bodies, different races, different sexes and different cultures. We are each alone on this journey, discovering how to use the love that is within our hearts.
It is important for me to face my challenges today and suck it up, whatever is bothering me. Yesterday needs to be reeled in, wrapped up and put away while I keep my heart open even while I fill my role as a wife, mother, friend, neighbor to those around me. Because I am traveling my OWN journey into spaces beyond them which they cannot understand and I don't need to tell them about because it would only confuse them.
I am free. I find liberation in my ability to do this. I find tenderness, joy and clarity in my alone time, soaring into heights that no one has seen before. I am the first one to see this. I am alone. Visions come in. The space clears and I am no longer needy. No longer lonely. I am blessed with a sense of belonging. Each person is gifted with this expansion of consciousness if they will allow it. To follow the light within and let it lead further into love. I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing. There is no more need to search. I have made it. I am here now, safe and sound in mind and body.
Anakosha is the journey of Diana, a feminine being, who began seeking for something "more" after being in the lifestyle of swinging for 40 years. Seeking for something more than what sex had to offer. This website is where I can write out my thoughts without someone dissing me, finding fault, objecting or arguing with me. It is the real me writing and I am exploring all aspects of love - from lust to romance to human to divine. I have been following the path of love and how it appears in relationships, in friends, with the boss, the child, the parent, the sacred, the emotional, the mental, the spiritual. I have found there are many petals unfolding from the center within me. I'm just a normal average woman of senior age. I don't know where this will lead.
I am the sum of my journey up to today. Tonight it folds up and I go to sleep and the next day I unfold again and the journey brings me a new challenge. A new gift. A new process to complete in this normal, ordinary, fast-moving world. So I love my way through it. I don't have to leave the world to find heaven, happiness or fulfillment, because I find it every day by daring to meet things head on. I own it. I accept it. I love it until it disappears and becomes me, becomes a part of me, to live within my experience forever.
This website is not for everyone. Those who remember it as a swing site will stop visiting it. There's not much sex in it any more. I no longer search the web for new websites. They come to me. They pop up like gifts from beyond. But I find many websites disappearing. They change images as the owner changes. They change names so you don't know what happened to the person. So often we lose connection with people who change. I do not want to lose my connection to the past. I want people to find me. My beginning was important. The sexual journey launched me into new planes of thought. It was the start of something beautiful, so I won't drop the thread. Instead I'm trying to integrate my new understanding into my human personality. My new understanding has changed, however, from a linear approach to an interdimensional approach. It is a shift in dimensions. We see things differently from one dimension to another.
In the interdimensional approach there are no dots to connect. Awareness expands like a light radiating from a light bulb - in all directions at one. It is similar to seeing from an airplane as compared to being on the ground. You can see the whole terrain. Clarity comes forth instantaneously all around, 360 degrees, and in a flash it expands as far as one is willing to go. We can stop wherever we want to at any time. We can stop it dead and and give ourself a rest from the expansion. Resting is important. Comfort is important. It's enjoyable to reflect on what just happened and go back home to the nest and the comfort of your loved one's arms and cuddle for the evening. The human journey is meant to be like this. We are both spiritual and physical, and it is a continually evolving process.
I am finding journaling is important, which is why I blog on Anakosha. I encourage everyone to do it because you can go back and remind yourself what your thinking was a year ago, five years ago, twenty years ago. My journals go back 40 years. It has helped me to retain connection to myself, where I come from and where I'm going. I am posting some of my old journals on this website, back in the days when kundalini first awakened. Kundalini, the mystery. By sharing what I was aware of at that time is helping me now. It is love carrying forward. I urge everyone to journal in some way that they can revisit later at another time. We tend to forget our highs and focus too much on our lows. It's important to remember the high points reached along the way. They are new levels of spiritual growth. We tend to lose them in the mundane.
The journey through life is a journey of love unfolding from within our own heart and mind. From that place we identify as "me". Heart and mind are connected. They are really ONE. They're divided in a human being but the heart is more important because love comes through the heart. The mind is not designed to feel love. It is designed to be abstract. It perceives, thinks, analyzes and forms conclusions. It can form hateful conclusions or it can form loving conclusions but it doesn't feel them. The mind does not own its own conclusions. And that's the problem. It does not know whether it is a right conclusion or a wrong conclusion because it cannot feel it.
To know whether it is a right or wrong conclusion, one must own it by softening and opening the gate to our heart, which is the center of the chest. From the heart, which beats a steady rhythm, it takes those thoughts and sends them out into the body through the circulation system and feeds the nerves, muscles and tissues. Our body then FEELS the thoughts we entertained. Hateful thoughts cause us to feel angry. Loving thoughts cause us to feel warm and cuddly. It is our body that gives feeling, emotion and passion to our thoughts and perceptions.
We are constantly weaving thought downward into our body so we can feel what we are thinking. Those who do not use the heart to feel, are thinking the same thoughts over and over, producing a dangerous rut in the analyzing brain. The heart is important to take those thoughts and release them into the body to either be owned or released. Our choice what we want to own and keep or release and let go of. This is the process of consciousness expanding into interdimensional planes of a cosmic nature.
If you have a frustration going on in your life, then back track and see where you are repeating a pattern of thought and it's building and building to the point you are owning the thing in a frustrating way. What is keeping you bothered? What are you repeating? Tell someone or release it to the wild in nature by speaking it into the wind and sky with the words, "I release this (whatever), I forgive."
Love is unity consciousness
This website explores the process of unity and togetherness. This is the process of love. How do we love when divisive issues are so apparent? We begin with ourselves. The division - no matter what it is - is between my male side and my female side. I must begin with myself and how I see things. I know that I am normally seeing through female eyes, not male eyes, so this puts me in opposite corner from men most of the time. But that just means I am split inside, energetically, inside myself. The energy is spiritual. This is a spiritual journey I am on, this every day life I live. But I play it out in real life with the people around me. I learn a lot by being involved in the lifestyle of swinging. I have learned not to judge other people or put them down. I have learned about love. And I have been having fun doing it.
The people in our lives consistently reflect back to us what we do not like. Usually these are "hot button" issues. They trigger intense responses. Whether we bite our tongue and remain silent or respond by lashing out, either way we do further damage to ourselves. The lesson is to lighten the world we live in by applying love. It helps us and it helps those around us. Love is intelligent and knows exactly what to do at any given moment. But we need to apply it. Applying love is a conscious act, like picking up a tube of healing ointment and applying it to a wound. Love is innate and it is what we are made of. We MUST use it in our life if we want to become more stable, real and at peace with ourselves. This website is all about love. It is both human and divine. It is the glue that keeps the human and divine connected.
There is a "web of life" which weaves through all of us. It is very real. This web of life is unseen but it can be felt. We feel it most when we are happy or in love. It feels good and it feels natural, as though we belong in that state. The web of life is always there. The natural state of happiness and love is always there in and around us. But we block it off by shifting our focus to external objects. In India the word for web is "tantra". There is a rich legacy in India on tantra that was left by ancient masters. Teachers of the tantric tradition have moved out across the globe in recent years, attempting to teach us, but analytic Westerners have created a whole different meaning around Tantra. We have colored it sexual. The original teaching is about the love that exists and permeates all things, all creatures, all humans. It ties us together in unity and it is love.
Sex is physical, love is not
Sex is what we call the act of human penetration through focus on the lower two chakras of the body. It is a physical act. In contrast, love is not an act but a state of awareness. It is a plane of existence - a web of life that connects us to all that is around us. The only way to reach that oneness state as a human being wanting sex with another human being, is to slow down the body, slow the mind to a standstill, cease all focus, drop all expectations. Then, in that open state of mind, whatever is outside of you enters in and merges with you and you and she or he become one. The shift in consciousness is not desire to ravish her or him sexually, but a loving reverence for life. It is a surrendering of the small self which is needy, to the greater self which is whole and connected to everything - the air, the leaf on the tree, the birds singing, the bed on which you sit and most of all, your lover. The word "sex" doesn't have any meaning then, because you are in a state in oneness. What happens then is beautiful.
The evolution of Anakosha
Anakosha used to be a swing site promoting couples swinging. When I was co-hosting swing parties for couples, I was also studying spiritual law (metaphysics) and practiced trance meditation, yoga and massage. Swinging was my nemesis. It was my teacher and my master. I can see this now from hindsight.
As I worked and played in the lifestyle of swinging (along with my husband) I experienced many ups and downs. Many out-of-body raptures and many plummets into dark places. It was rigorous training. Socially, fun and liberating, it was also painful, like being stretched on a torture rack until I gave in. But I persevered because I knew about love from my meditation training. What was being pulled apart in me was my old programming. The way I was raised. My old beliefs.
Swinging is a powerful spiritual path because it is sexual. Most people hide their sexual issues. In swinging you have to face them. It is not all fun, orgasms and laughter where you can do whatever you want. In order to get along with others in the same boat you have to exert self-discipline. It is inner work. You can't have it your way all of the time because there are others involved. It's a close family and you're all trying to fit in and work it out. So you adapt. You understand. You modify your selfish behavior. Many people have difficulty doing that and drop out, but those who remain are smooth, respectful and do not judge you. You are then part of the inner group.
This was the arena where I practiced and grew up. I grew up more in the lifestyle of swinging than I did in the years prior. There is resistance in every walk of life. I had resistances. They kept popping up. My resistances needed to be broken down, but I learned to apply love to these difficult situations.
Sex vs. love
I recognized early in my swinging career that swingers do not like the word "love". They do not want to use it, nor do they apply it. In swinging people use the first two chakras only, the sex chakras and the root chakra which contains the power of the body, the kundalini that is trying to rise but runs into blocks. Swingers don't face those blocks. Instead they play within the parameters of the first two chakras, hardly ever rising to the five other chakras higher up, including the heart. A few people are more cognizant of their higher realms and have been able to integrate their higher nature with their lower nature, but by and large, swingers remain focused in the lower two chakras. All good people, don't get me wrong. But the whole reason for the gathering and the party, is to focus on sex. It was a good place for me to practice applying love to difficult sexual challenges. In secret, of course, and never talking about it, and being careful not to mention the L word, which swingers don't like to hear or deal with.
Now that I have been integrating sex and spirituality for many years and applying love to all sorts of encounters successfully (blending the two opposites), I feel it is time to open the door and introduce the L word and the teachings about love to the world of swinging. But that means taking it out of swinging and creating a whole new pasture to play in. In order to introduce love into the sexual world, it is necessary to introduce the chakras and consider it a class, not a party.
What are chakras?
Some people don't know about chakras. Many do but very few people understand what they are. The chakras are qualities. They are more of YOU! Chakras have been defined as energy centers in the body, without telling you that it is your own energy that is coming in. The energy is your own spiritual life force. Chakras open and close like your eyes, emitting light or shutting light out.
There are seven major chakras, and many smaller ones. They are portals through which your life force enters your body and world. They heighten the quality of your life. The energy is clean and pure. The energy maintains your body in good healthy condition when the chakras are open and flowing. When one or more of them is closed, it is wise to do some inner work. Massage and meditation helps.
The chakras need to be understood, acknowledged, freshened up, fluffed, cleansed, polished and activated to access the warm and wonderful love qualities in you. It's the next step in the human evolution to integrate spirit and soul more happily and completely into the physical body and every day life. It will bring greater happiness, love, abundance, friendships and opportunities. And more.
We are going through a paradigm shift today. The Earth is rising to new, higher levels, meaning the atomic structure is vibrating faster and spinning off the old, stodgy, stagnant ways. The effects of that shift are earth changes and our own bodies are feeling too small and confining. We have to open doors and liberate the life within us. It is evolving. The whole world is evolving. Closed chakras are holding us back. Our spirits are seeking release.
About this website
This website is first of all a platform for my writings. This is my way of expressing who I am and what I know. Everyone must find their own way to express who they are and what they know. This website has promoted quite a few events over the years, starting out with swing parties, then mini-conventions, beach parties, dinners, discussions, dances, massage parties and more. None of that is happening any more as I move from promoting events to channeling love. This is a new phase for me. I'm not sure where it will lead, but I'll mention any changes in my blog. Love is all there is and Love is very broad. It is difficult to channel this huge Love into something concrete because it loses some of its hugeness in the process. There are no walls or barriers or obstructions in the infinite, but there are in each of us humans. So we will see.
In my experience hands-on loving, caring touch is just about the only way to get the body to FEEL love. Usually it feels stress. Loving, caring massage is felt as sensual but it is actually a healing, cleansing and unifying process. It is amazing how clean and refreshed you can feel when someone massages you with intentional caring and kindness, and with no expectations to have sex. Then there is massaging of not only the body, but the mind, feelings and - yes - the soul. It makes all the difference in the world.
Sexual love is beautiful when this type of massage is given. Love is felt all through the body from head to toe, not stopping prematurely and turning to the sexual chakras. A loving massage will continue for an hour or more, spreading that warm, good feeling all through the whole body, head, fingers, toes, everywhere and not stopping until the whole body is complete. If there is anything I would like to leave you with when you vacate this site, it is to remember to give a warm, loving, unconditional massage to someone you care for. Go ahead and buy a massage table. It will be worth it.
I welcome you to my website. Feel free to roam around, page by page. I maintain this site myself and post blogs often. There are articles here, plus there is - excuse me - WAS a whole book on swinging written by my late husband and me. I had to take it down when it was published on Amazon. These were his ideas and his structure. I filled them out from a feminine perspective. The book, entitled "Swinging With Safety" is all about what makes swinging work for couples. People have called it a good "nuts-and-bolts" book on the lifestyle of swinging. "Swinging With Safety, the Code of Etiquette for Couples Sexual Sharing", by Robert H. Adler.
P.S. I am starting Goddess Gatherings beginning in 2019. See my new GODDESS page in the menu above.
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